Fifteen lonely

(A)
I smiled, looked cold and everyone around you, it is a smile in the hysteria, the intersection of the two extremes.
I have forgotten how to cry.
a person sitting in the corner, I leaned impassively cold walls, learn the only thing working in the heat of hot tea.
looked at the crowd laughing, still smiling, I am sad that no one noticed.

(b)
keep the blood pouring from a wound in hand, I forget the pain, any fresh blood drops to fall on the floor on. Suddenly, I found myself in the blood is not bright red, it's the same color and loneliness. I have forgotten the color of loneliness.
opened the door, I smell the breath of winter, and my heart just will not hibernate in the cold, naked heart is torn, pain to numbness, loss of feeling.

(c)
lonely and I the same country, and this may be destiny. In the dark I lit a candle, dim the flame gently beating, it is still a heartbeat. However, make candles, the darkness swallowed me, there is no resistance, no struggle.
I have already got used to darkness.
walking alone in deserted street late at night, my world is still only my own, quietly spread of cold and helpless, I am associating with the pain.
(d)
boiled water kept boiling steaming, I stare at it, his thoughts fly away little by little my body.
I thinking?
What can I do?
keep asking myself, did not answer.
I'm used to questioning their own.
no thought, there is breathing, clear breathing, I can hear my own heart beat. Strongly about me, I still live in the end.

(e)
turn on the computer, I heard a mouse and keyboard in the quiet night issued a ringing sound. qq no one. Suddenly been asked to be authenticated, in his self-introduction of a bar, I saw a quite reasonable to say: Lying in bed, eyes looking at the ceiling, I keep thinking of that sentence.
the original, I have long used to boring.

(VI)
no meaning in my life, my life is not happy, because the frustration, as ruthless. No goal, I live in their own unique way, living in their own world.
go on the road, do not bother pointing and cold, and I still calmly walked firmly, his face still wearing inexplicable smile. A shadow, why should not forget that you also just my passing? Think of you, I put away a smile, stopped, looked up at the sky, not blue, is the color of loneliness.
I can not force myself not to think of you.

(VII)
nest on the sofa, rubbing his hands constantly forced the temple, the habit of migraine attacks with me. On the table stood a glass of ice water and painkillers, I did not touch them, close your eyes, feeling pain gives me stress.
I am accustomed to torture yourself.
suddenly felt cold hands warm, turned out to be the hot tears, I thought I had no tears.
(VIII)
angels have wings, I did not, so I'm not an angel.
devil magic, I did not, so I'm not the devil.
I have is, is the frustration, despair and loneliness of freedom.
heart of hope and despair, struggling fiercely, winning is helpless. I have learned to accept frustration, like helpless compromise.
......
drawback is too good angel, the devil's drawback is too evil, too cowardly to my disadvantage.

(IX)
gently close your eyes hard, greedy to breathe the air without you. Is freedom? Or a miss? I can not answer yourself, you had not so much thin air.
I also learned to adapt to the cold thin air.
laughed and cried, fights, uttered, and now I need to, just indifference.

(ten)
sunshine through the window, gently warming my body. Open your eyes and block with my hand a dazzling light, cast a quilt, I am going to continue to be interrupted dream. Once awakened
dream can not goes on. Angrily sat up in bed, his hands supporting his head, my hair is messy, hanging down. Wake up. I smile to myself shook his head with despair to accept the reality, to meet the meaningless new day.
I am accustomed to routine.

(XI)
, is really sad, tears are fake, did not cause and effect, a hundred years without you and no me. I know, a hundred years you will still be you, but I miss less.
(second)
wind in my hair, I do not care, slowly walk the streets in winter. I'm numb to move forward, a bit vague, dimly seen in front of you in my step by step forward, but you farther and farther away from me. I bolted
Pinmingdexiang you know you're in my eyes disappear. Stopped breathing breathing heavily, I began to laugh, laugh at my silly, laugh at my stupidity.

(thirteen)
room, books filled the whole table, I sat in front of piles of books, and sighed. Silent for a moment, I suddenly stood up, reaching out through the broken those boring books, forced to fire in the wall and threw it, and then threw himself on the bed heavily.
a long time, I got up to book a one who picked up again on the desk and smiled helplessly, buried in piles of their own.

(fourth)
lying on the table, I put my face deeply buried their arms, tears flooded out so unexpectedly. I have been doing deep breathing, fluctuations in an attempt to soothe my heart, but I can not control myself.

(fifth)
I removed the false smile, put a tired face. Still sentimentally attached to you, but I learned to hide.
......
my life is always calm, only when the wave is like your tears.

temptation, we calculated the distance in light years ......
only lonely, only to realize that in fact their existence is a lonely Qingfu